had the “pleasure” of attending my brother-in-law’s wedding over the weekend. At the end of the eight hour drive, when I started seeing the Human Barbie Dolls and tasting the air, I knew that I was in Los Angeles. Los Angeles does have its advantages, usually two at a time, bouncing along merrily for the whole world to see.
Anyway, for the night of the wedding, we stayed in a hotel, and my brother-in-law and his wife stayed at their home. Kind of a reverse wedding thing, I guess, but all the out-of town relatives on the groom’s side stayed there. Down a block and across the street from the TraveLodge is McCabe’s Guitar Shop, which is often frequented by The Bobs when they are in the greater Santa Monica Metropolitan area. Just to add more insight to the narrow market sliver in the narrow market niche of a cappella music, The Bobs have a song called Valentino’s. An actual restaurant Valentino’s is one block up Pico from McCabe’s.
I live across the street
Across the street from Valentino’s
For every car there’s valet parking
It’s my boyfriend who parks
All the cars at Valentino’s
He’s always so polite
For the evening, I lived across the street from Valentino’s, and I think they have valet parking, but I’m not sure. It was just like living in a song. Next time I’m in Arizona, I’ll go into a tavern and have chicken fajitas, and nachos with peppers, just so I can do it again.
The real pisser of the trip was yesterday. As soon as I got off the plane, I checked my voice mail. There was a message on my cell: “I hope you have more keys, because I have your keys right here!” Talk about a real pie hole experience.
Today’s Travel Tip
Before you fly anywhere, make sure that you go to your automobile association and get a CreditCard Key made. These “door only” keys fit right in your wallet, and chances are low that you will not have your wallet on an airplane. Unless you lose it or it gets stolen. Then you’re really screwed.
Make copies of all car keys, house keys and other keys that you will need. Put them on a key ring and lock them in the glove box of a car that you’re leaving at the parking lot or the car that you’re leaving at home, wrapped up in a $20 bill. Then, the worst that you have to worry about is making it home. You have that $20 to bribe someone into giving you a ride from the airport if needed. If they need it, make sure to yell BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE! at them after they leave because they’re taking advantage of your position.
To recap, be in the song in real life.
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This post was tagged with a cappella, airport, barbie dolls, bobs, boobies, car, engagement, error, genius, hell, ideas, JACKED, mccabe, money, not pleased, oakland, panties in a bunch, Phoenix, relationship, true story, valentino.
