Wang-Holder

October 6th, 2007 No Comments

Today is the day of the world famous Wang-Holder Wedding in San Francisco. Additionally, it’s also Fleet Week, where the “glamorization of war machines” celebrates the mighty men and women who stand on the wall of freedom so you and I can sleep at night. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to attend any of these wonderful events this weekend. The good news is that the Blue Angels are still allowed in Baghdad by the Bay.

Just wait until Captain Planet puts this on his list of “Carbon Footprint” tragedies and flies his private jet across the country trying to drum up support for a green military. If that happens, he and the rest of the hippies can BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLES!

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A Story

September 13th, 2007 1 Comment

Way, way, back in late 1988/early 1989, I saw Stripes. In March 1989 I decided that I needed a haircut, so I joined the Army Reserve. Having just seen Stripes, I figured I’d get a free haircut during entry into Basic Training. It actually cost me $4.25. Anyway I went to Basic Training and got buffed. As a side note, from the time I was in 6th grade to the time I entered Basic Training, I was within 5 pounds of 150 pounds. I came out super muscled out at 175.

Anyway, I journeyed off to Fort Gordon the next summer to learn to be a telephone lineman. First set of training is learning to climb a telephone pole. I got the “climb up” part perfected, but the “climb down” I had a little trouble with. I fell off the pole, from the top. The medical guys in the little M*A*S*H* jeep were laughing as I hobbled over to them for removal of an inch long splinter. They were digging and pulling and digging and pulling, and finally managed to extricate the timber from my leg. There was another plank embedded in my shin right next to that one, and when they asked if there was anything else they could do, I declined. The hunk of wood finally came out of my leg when we were at the Augusta Mall after having seen Die Hard 2, but I digress. Actually this whole story is a digression, but again, I digress.

Anyway, after the medical procedure, which by the way was without the benefit of anesthesia, the sergeant, who had more stripes on his arm than I did, and he said, “Get up there and do it again.” So I did. This time, the fall was a bit more serious. The hospital diagnosed it as “a bad sprain.” I guess that it’s opposed to a “good sprain.” Anyway, the next day my ankle swelled up and it looked like James Caan’s legs in Misery, so I went back to the Hospital.

The Army logic was “If we had the X-Ray moved over just a little bit, we would have seen the fracture.” My talus was broken. By that time, my ankle had swelled up so much, that they couldn’t put a cast on it, because my ankle, in theory, would shrink and the cast would fall off, and my ankle wouldn’t set correctly. Wouldn’t you know it, even with the physical therapy, my ankle never made it back to 100%. It aches when the weather changes, and aches when I have a lot of walking to do.

Why am I telling this story? The clutch went out on the car. It’s gone. Non existent. Kaput. I’ve been taking the train to work each day. It’s a 17 minute walk to the train, and an 18 minute walk to the grind. My ankle is killing me, I we can’t afford a new clutch. Can’t afford a new car, either.

In related news, I have signed up for a bunch of affilliate links, so stay tuned for the new Pie Hole Shopping Mall and Referral Center, coming soon! Maybe I can do something with all these domains that I have just lying around, with plans and plans that I don’t seem to have time for. Arrgh, it’s tough in the life of blowing it out your pie hole.

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It is written today: FOXNews.com - Air Force Mistakenly Flies 5 Nuclear Warheads Over U.S. “Five nuclear warheads were mistakenly loaded onto a B-52 bomber and flown between North Dakota and Louisiana, a senior defense official told FOX News.” Sure. That’s what they want you to believe. What you really need to do is read between the lines.

First, they announce that nuclear warheads were moved to Louisiana. Obviously, one of them is to replace the nuke that they used to blow up the levees when hurricane Katrina hit, just two years ago. But they claim that it is a big mistake, so they will have a big hoopdy-doo about sending them back, planning out the train route, publishing it in the newspapers so communists can go to the train tracks and protest the Free Market and global warming and whatever else commies are protesting. Captain Planet is no doubt to make a big stink over it, and it will certainly turn up in one of the next Democrat debates.

Then, all the paperwork will show that the total nuclear weapon arsenal is back the way it was last week, and Louisiana will still have nukes. Then, those nukes are going to be transferred to a secret operation, code named Operation Kill Them Before They Kill Us, and shipped to Iran, where they will either be used to destroy the Islamofacists, or planted to show the world that Iran has nukes and must be stopped at any cost.

Now, first off, it just might work. On the other hand, if you actually believe any of that, you need to BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

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The Coalition

March 30th, 2004 No Comments

One day, as the U.S. was patrolling, she found a ruthless dictator. This dictator had created a regime of terror all across the land. Men were afraid that the dictator’s sons might come along and rape their wives. The men were afraid that if they said anything about the dictator, that they might disappear in the middle of the night to be dumped into a plastics shredder. The dictator made sure that his stockpile of chemical weapons were strong enough to kill people and tested it on his own subjects.

This regime must be destroyed,” the U.S. said. “Who will send troops to destroy this regime?” Read the rest of this entry »

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