Pot Smoking Hippies

February 27th, 2008 1 Comment

William F. Buckley died Wednesday, apparently of emphysema related causes. Almost simulataneously, the atheist liberals who Digg found a 3 and a half year old article written by William F. Buckley on the decriminalization of marijuana.

As I understand it, the original 13 states first banned marijuana because it conflicted with the highly profitable tobacco industry. California was the next state to create criminalization of marijuana to deal with the Mexican immigrants after the Mexican Revolution of 1910.

Since then, we’ve had prohibition and mass produced automobiles, which lead to an increase in American deaths. These deaths turned into an opportunity to study how much alcohol it takes to affect brain function enough to impair driving.This, in turn lead to 0.08% BAC laws, minimum legal drinking age laws, and zero tolerance laws for drivers younger than 21 years old in all states. Alcohol is now regulated by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Alcohol content is clearly marked, labled, and taxed on each container.

Part of the problem of the decriminalization of marijuana is measuring how much of the most active cannabinoids it takes to impare judgements. Three and a half years ago, Mr. Buckley reported that “an estimated 100 million Americans have smoked marijuana at least once.” Before marijuana can possibly leave its Federal Prohibition, the government needs to make sure that those under the influence do not infringe on my personal liberty of not getting into an accident or losing my life to someone who is behind the wheel of a car and under the influence of marijuana.

Sure, there are all sorts of reasons sited for the federal decriminalization of marijuana: increased tax revenue, fewer people in the pokey, and fewer people getting a cap in the ass when a drug deal goes bad. But there won’t be a federal decriminalization until someone has the balls to introduce a bill to the House to study how much active cannabinoids it takes to impare judgement. Once that happens, someone will have to create a handy test for determining how much active cannabinoids are in a “dose” of marijuana. The House will then need to figure out how much to tax a plant and sell plant stamps (the states will quickly follow, getting their tax revenues). Next, the House will need to figure out how much to tax each ounce, either by weight or by THC content, and create a new wing of the ATF. What is now a $60 buy will turn into a $80 buy with the increased taxes, but it will drop $20 because supply will increase. The federal bureaucracy to complete any of these changes will take years just to get going.

Of course, if the Free State Project were really serious, they would have some of their guys drafting federal legislation for when they’ve taken over New Hampshire and send a representative to Congress. If NORML were really serious, they would draft legislation for the decriminalization and bring it to a National Issue. Right now, people are fainting over Obama, crying over Hillary, cursing at McCain, but how many people are talking—not writing—about the issue of decriminalization? Do we have anyone in Congress who will put this on the table? The last link claims that “despite extensive educational efforts and millions poured into various legislative campaigns, it’s consistently been shown in opinion polls and at the voting booth that only between a third to 46 percent of Americans endorse legalizing the personal use of cannabis for adults.”

Shoud marijuana use and personal cultivation be legal in the United States? Is it worth the federal bureaucracy? I don’t have a clue. What do you think?

Popularity: 46% [?]

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Caution, filling IS hot

November 26th, 2007 No Comments

I had a nice week off, although I forgot to load up some posts and automagically release them during the Thanksgiving break. Speaking of off, we have officially replaced Alicia, although, just like Ann Landers, our replacement is also coincidentally named Alicia.

But today, I bring a warning. The filling IS hot. I baked up some pizza rolls yesterday, and burned the inside of my mouth. Not just frying up a taste bud or two, but really burning my mouth. I have a blister on my hard pallet. It’s a bunch of ouch. Fortunately, except for the blood loss, I think I’m fine. Having a wound inside your mouth is a weird thing. Your tongue just can’t keep away from the big gaping wound.

Strangely, through the trauma that was my boiling mouth, I completely forgot about my other hard pallet wound until now. Maybe I’ve seen too many action movies, but I always wondered what would happen if you stuck a straw through someone’s mouth into their brain. Would brain parts leak out or just fluids? Maybe I’m thinking of Final Destination 2.


But anyway, one morning, about two years ago, I stopped into my favorite (at the time) breakfast place. You know, the French one: Jacques in les Box. Anyway, I got myself a soda, and ended up sticking the straw through my hard pallet because I conveniently bumped the bottom of the cup against the steering wheel. I’m glad the bottom of the cup was stronger than my mouth, because I survived a day of work with all the blood and sinus mucus swishing through my mouth instead of wearing 32 ounces of cola. That would have been embarrassing!So remember, if you don’t think the filling is hot, you can BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

Popularity: 28% [?]

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My son has started school, and it was his birthday yesterday. We’re having a party today for that big “05.” So anyway, he came home with a pledge form the other day for the school. With all the tax-payer dollars that are going to the schools, apparently they don’t have enough money for music, cheer and other programs. So the school has asked for donations, and I’m putting it out for the world. All profits from the ads on this site and all donations between now and October 26, 2007 will go to the school. The school needs all donation money on the 26th, so that’s why that date for cut off.

In the spirit of donation for school, all donations through this posting will go to the school regardless of when they come in. So if you are able to, and wish to, please donate to the school.


Popularity: 31% [?]

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Skylark Apartments

October 18th, 2007 No Comments

An Open Letter to Equity Apartments, property owners of Skylark Apartments in Union City:

As you know, since you are one of my loyal 15 or so readers, I have been without a car for about a month, and have been walking to BART. Every Thursday, rain or shine, and we’ve had a bit of rain lately, your sprinklers do a very good job of watering everything except the grass. By the time I get to your sidewalk, a whole tanker truck full of water is in the gutter. The sprinklers, if they can even be called that, are spraying across the sidewalk, drenching the concrete. I’m glad to see such wonderful work in our drought-plagued state.

Please get your maintenance crew out there to fix this because I’m tired of getting wetter than wet, even when it’s not raining. I know rents are high, but probably half of that goes to your water. In other words, fix your sprinklers and BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

Popularity: 37% [?]

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So I saw this story today: Attempt to Rewrite Law Allowing Toddlers to Marry With Parental Consent Fails. Right now, in Arkansas, anyone can get married. If they’re under 18 and have parental consent, they may get married. 16 year olds, 15 year olds, even babies.

Great. What happens if some pedophile in Arkansas, or some non-Arkansas pedophile moves there and marries a six-year old? Look for a similar law in San Francisco with Mayor Gavin “Any Twosome” Newsom. What happens if someone argues that they are the parent/guardian of a dog, and with parental consent, marries the dog?

Sounds like all the pervs in the greater Arkansas area can BLOW IT OUT THEIR PIE HOLES!

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Popularity: 16% [?]

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Wang-Holder

October 6th, 2007 No Comments

Today is the day of the world famous Wang-Holder Wedding in San Francisco. Additionally, it’s also Fleet Week, where the “glamorization of war machines” celebrates the mighty men and women who stand on the wall of freedom so you and I can sleep at night. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to attend any of these wonderful events this weekend. The good news is that the Blue Angels are still allowed in Baghdad by the Bay.

Just wait until Captain Planet puts this on his list of “Carbon Footprint” tragedies and flies his private jet across the country trying to drum up support for a green military. If that happens, he and the rest of the hippies can BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLES!

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Popularity: 35% [?]

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I previously reported that we received a Nigerian Scam letter. I’m glad to see thisYahoo! News story about a huge crackdown in the Netherlands, and no, I’m not talking about the red light district.

God knows that I’ve tried to bait some of these bastards into sending me a “good faith” deposit so they can “cover advance fees,” but none of them are biting. Until they do, they can BLOW IT OUT THEIR PIE HOLE!

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A Story

September 13th, 2007 1 Comment

Way, way, back in late 1988/early 1989, I saw Stripes. In March 1989 I decided that I needed a haircut, so I joined the Army Reserve. Having just seen Stripes, I figured I’d get a free haircut during entry into Basic Training. It actually cost me $4.25. Anyway I went to Basic Training and got buffed. As a side note, from the time I was in 6th grade to the time I entered Basic Training, I was within 5 pounds of 150 pounds. I came out super muscled out at 175.

Anyway, I journeyed off to Fort Gordon the next summer to learn to be a telephone lineman. First set of training is learning to climb a telephone pole. I got the “climb up” part perfected, but the “climb down” I had a little trouble with. I fell off the pole, from the top. The medical guys in the little M*A*S*H* jeep were laughing as I hobbled over to them for removal of an inch long splinter. They were digging and pulling and digging and pulling, and finally managed to extricate the timber from my leg. There was another plank embedded in my shin right next to that one, and when they asked if there was anything else they could do, I declined. The hunk of wood finally came out of my leg when we were at the Augusta Mall after having seen Die Hard 2, but I digress. Actually this whole story is a digression, but again, I digress.

Anyway, after the medical procedure, which by the way was without the benefit of anesthesia, the sergeant, who had more stripes on his arm than I did, and he said, “Get up there and do it again.” So I did. This time, the fall was a bit more serious. The hospital diagnosed it as “a bad sprain.” I guess that it’s opposed to a “good sprain.” Anyway, the next day my ankle swelled up and it looked like James Caan’s legs in Misery, so I went back to the Hospital.

The Army logic was “If we had the X-Ray moved over just a little bit, we would have seen the fracture.” My talus was broken. By that time, my ankle had swelled up so much, that they couldn’t put a cast on it, because my ankle, in theory, would shrink and the cast would fall off, and my ankle wouldn’t set correctly. Wouldn’t you know it, even with the physical therapy, my ankle never made it back to 100%. It aches when the weather changes, and aches when I have a lot of walking to do.

Why am I telling this story? The clutch went out on the car. It’s gone. Non existent. Kaput. I’ve been taking the train to work each day. It’s a 17 minute walk to the train, and an 18 minute walk to the grind. My ankle is killing me, I we can’t afford a new clutch. Can’t afford a new car, either.

In related news, I have signed up for a bunch of affilliate links, so stay tuned for the new Pie Hole Shopping Mall and Referral Center, coming soon! Maybe I can do something with all these domains that I have just lying around, with plans and plans that I don’t seem to have time for. Arrgh, it’s tough in the life of blowing it out your pie hole.

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Popularity: 35% [?]

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Caller ID and stupidity

September 4th, 2007 No Comments

So we have moved into a new facility, here at the grind. We got an all new phone system and all new phone numbers. Conceivably, someone else has a new phone number and a phone system. That other person are the people who used to have our number. They call. Apparently, it is some sort of automated system that doesn’t leave a message.

I used to use a system like that in my old job. It would call through the list, and if it wasn’t answered by a human, it would hang up and go on to the next number. Once it finished, it would cycle through again, leaving a message if someone didn’t answer the second time. As a side bar to this side bar, I would type in the phone numbers as given to me to schedule a delivery of a hot tub. The numbers were probably hand written, faxed a couple of times, then entered into the system. Very often, numbers were wrong or transposed. Anyway, some old guy called me and demanded that I remove his number because he didn’t order a hot tub. Then, he wouldn’t tell me his number to remove it, and demanded that I remove his number. “What’s your number?” “I’m not telling you. Just take it off your list.” Repeat five times, then he told me that he’d call his attorney. “Go ahead,” I said, “I’ll ask him your phone number, and in the meantime, you’ll keep getting calls.” Genious.

So anyway, we get these calls a couple of times a day. “I saw your number on my caller ID. Who are you and what do you want?”

“We didn’t call you. Is there a message from whoever did?”

“No, I just hit the redial button.”

So now I’m thinking that we should tell them that we wanted a pizza delivered, or a tow truck, but they didn’t answer. These calls are proof positive that Caller ID decreases brain power. I, on the other hand work something like this: “Didn’t leave a message? Wasn’t too important, now, was it.” Someone calls, doesn’t leave a message. Obviously not important. If it’s important, they’ll call back.

Maybe they’re getting called by AlGore who is calling but can only wait 10 seconds because he has a lot of calls to make. “Hi, this is AlGore. My son can do 100 miles per hour in a Prius, but it’s a Prius. It is the same amount of carbon as if your hummer were doing 347 MPH.”

In the mean time, BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

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Popularity: 30% [?]

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TreeHugger reports a real shocker: Ethanol production is increasing the demand for corn. The pop corn industry needs to pay its growers more to keep them growing pop corn instead of the federally mandated ethanol. Since corn also feeds cattle, you have no doubt seen the prices of dairy products and beef rise. Add to that the increase fuel prices, and you have a redistribution of wealth. We’re not getting paid more, so the gasoline industry is getting more and more money.

It’s obviously an evil Hippie conspiracy to get Americans off fuel and meat. The bulk of Americans won’t be able to afford to drive, so they’ll have to take public transportation. The bulk of Americans won’t be able to eat meat, so the dangerous cattle, who do nothing but stamp the soil, create erosion and destroy the natural landscape, will dwindle down to a more managable existance.

Won’t this have the opposite effect? After all, look at private jets, sprawling estates, and limosines. They’re not owned or used by the bulk of Americans. Who owns them? The liberal elite.

There you have it, an evil Hippie Conspiracy to take away the most basic needs from most Americans: travel and food. In the mean time, BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

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