So I saw this story today: Attempt to Rewrite Law Allowing Toddlers to Marry With Parental Consent Fails. Right now, in Arkansas, anyone can get married. If they’re under 18 and have parental consent, they may get married. 16 year olds, 15 year olds, even babies.

Great. What happens if some pedophile in Arkansas, or some non-Arkansas pedophile moves there and marries a six-year old? Look for a similar law in San Francisco with Mayor Gavin “Any Twosome” Newsom. What happens if someone argues that they are the parent/guardian of a dog, and with parental consent, marries the dog?

Sounds like all the pervs in the greater Arkansas area can BLOW IT OUT THEIR PIE HOLES!

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Wang-Holder

October 6th, 2007 No Comments

Today is the day of the world famous Wang-Holder Wedding in San Francisco. Additionally, it’s also Fleet Week, where the “glamorization of war machines” celebrates the mighty men and women who stand on the wall of freedom so you and I can sleep at night. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to attend any of these wonderful events this weekend. The good news is that the Blue Angels are still allowed in Baghdad by the Bay.

Just wait until Captain Planet puts this on his list of “Carbon Footprint” tragedies and flies his private jet across the country trying to drum up support for a green military. If that happens, he and the rest of the hippies can BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLES!

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Inbox Dollars

October 5th, 2007 No Comments

A while ago, I signed up for Inbox Dollars. They send an email to me, and with two clicks, I earn about $0.03. Exciting, but those pennies add up. They also have some other money earning opportunities, with surveys and a portion back on their affilliate marketing center. The affilliate marketing center is basically the same as “Complete any three of these offers from each of these three pages and we’ll send you a [insert fancy prize here]” that you see all around the web but no matter how many of the offers you complete you never get the fancy prize because of “system errors” and “anomolies regarding your IP address” and other crap like that, except that Inbox Dollars actually gives you what they say they will.

In only a couple months, I’m already half-way to a cash payout. With a minimum payout value a third that of Adsense, and for those of us without millions of webpages, it’s faster to earn a couple of bucks.

With a $5 sign up bonus, and cash for each survey completed, I highly recommend this program.

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I previously reported that we received a Nigerian Scam letter. I’m glad to see thisYahoo! News story about a huge crackdown in the Netherlands, and no, I’m not talking about the red light district.

God knows that I’ve tried to bait some of these bastards into sending me a “good faith” deposit so they can “cover advance fees,” but none of them are biting. Until they do, they can BLOW IT OUT THEIR PIE HOLE!

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My only friend Cman

September 26th, 2007 No Comments

A long time ago, I learned that if you only have one friend “Jim,” then when he comes in the door, you can say hello to “my only friend Jim,” because he is your only “friend Jim.” Linked on our blog is my only friend Andy and my only friend Danny. However, I’d like to introduce you to my only friend Cman.

Cman over at Cman’s Cognitive Content is giving away Free Money! All you simply have to do is copy and past this text, including links, follow the link to his blog and leave a comment to the post. That’s it! He is giving $1 via Paypal to the first 20 people plus a 2 month Text Ad on his other blog Profitable Productive Blogging to the first 5. The ad link is worth $20! This is Free Money and Free Advertising for a simple copy and paste, and don’t forget the comment. Because you need to know what he thinks.

If you don’t need to know what he thinks, you need to BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

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Boost My Alexa Ranking

September 23rd, 2007 3 Comments

As I write this, my Alexa ranking is 4,426,952, according to the Alexa tool bar. I tried to sign up for a reviewing site, where we review a site and get a couple of dollars for it. Our Alexa rank isn’t high enough for them. I found Dosh Dosh’s 20 quick ways to increase your Alexa rank. We’re going to increase our Alexa ranking, one way or another. I have installed the Alexa toolbar so I can check it each and every minute of my life. I’m not sure it will be quite an obsession, but it will be interesting to watch it grow. Hopefully.

I’ve also changed the site around a little. Previously, I had a square ad on the first three posts on the main page and “In the News” on the third one down. I’m sure you all noticed that. On a single post page, the ad was there and the “In The News” block was there for some reason. Anyway, I have taken the ads off of the posts on the front page, and now feature the Adsense Injector on non-front page postings. I also removed the Amazon context ads and the other ad network. I figure that since each ad network has a minimum payout, and I’ve been waiting 3 years since my last adsense payout of about $20, I figure I’d better keep up on the adsense network and finally get a payout.

I also went into the wordpress control panel and changed my blog url to http://redirect.alexa.com/redirect?blowitoutyourpiehole.com
so that every link goes through the alexa network. I have that link on my Viral Tags page, so hopefully it will get linked through from the Viral Tag Network, and from anyone stumbling here will click on one internal link and help boost the rank.

As we try some other things, we’ll report here how things progress. We also have the Alexa widget installed, but it’s showing a page ranking of 4,422,055 as of this writing. Strange. The Alexa page for Blow It Out Your Pie Hole also shows a very old picture, even though I have requested the robot to update the screen shot months ago. Strange.

Anyway, stay tuned as I try things, tweak things, and see what confusions or clarifications I can find.

Popularity: 19% [?]

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A Story

September 13th, 2007 1 Comment

Way, way, back in late 1988/early 1989, I saw Stripes. In March 1989 I decided that I needed a haircut, so I joined the Army Reserve. Having just seen Stripes, I figured I’d get a free haircut during entry into Basic Training. It actually cost me $4.25. Anyway I went to Basic Training and got buffed. As a side note, from the time I was in 6th grade to the time I entered Basic Training, I was within 5 pounds of 150 pounds. I came out super muscled out at 175.

Anyway, I journeyed off to Fort Gordon the next summer to learn to be a telephone lineman. First set of training is learning to climb a telephone pole. I got the “climb up” part perfected, but the “climb down” I had a little trouble with. I fell off the pole, from the top. The medical guys in the little M*A*S*H* jeep were laughing as I hobbled over to them for removal of an inch long splinter. They were digging and pulling and digging and pulling, and finally managed to extricate the timber from my leg. There was another plank embedded in my shin right next to that one, and when they asked if there was anything else they could do, I declined. The hunk of wood finally came out of my leg when we were at the Augusta Mall after having seen Die Hard 2, but I digress. Actually this whole story is a digression, but again, I digress.

Anyway, after the medical procedure, which by the way was without the benefit of anesthesia, the sergeant, who had more stripes on his arm than I did, and he said, “Get up there and do it again.” So I did. This time, the fall was a bit more serious. The hospital diagnosed it as “a bad sprain.” I guess that it’s opposed to a “good sprain.” Anyway, the next day my ankle swelled up and it looked like James Caan’s legs in Misery, so I went back to the Hospital.

The Army logic was “If we had the X-Ray moved over just a little bit, we would have seen the fracture.” My talus was broken. By that time, my ankle had swelled up so much, that they couldn’t put a cast on it, because my ankle, in theory, would shrink and the cast would fall off, and my ankle wouldn’t set correctly. Wouldn’t you know it, even with the physical therapy, my ankle never made it back to 100%. It aches when the weather changes, and aches when I have a lot of walking to do.

Why am I telling this story? The clutch went out on the car. It’s gone. Non existent. Kaput. I’ve been taking the train to work each day. It’s a 17 minute walk to the train, and an 18 minute walk to the grind. My ankle is killing me, I we can’t afford a new clutch. Can’t afford a new car, either.

In related news, I have signed up for a bunch of affilliate links, so stay tuned for the new Pie Hole Shopping Mall and Referral Center, coming soon! Maybe I can do something with all these domains that I have just lying around, with plans and plans that I don’t seem to have time for. Arrgh, it’s tough in the life of blowing it out your pie hole.

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Caller ID and stupidity

September 4th, 2007 No Comments

So we have moved into a new facility, here at the grind. We got an all new phone system and all new phone numbers. Conceivably, someone else has a new phone number and a phone system. That other person are the people who used to have our number. They call. Apparently, it is some sort of automated system that doesn’t leave a message.

I used to use a system like that in my old job. It would call through the list, and if it wasn’t answered by a human, it would hang up and go on to the next number. Once it finished, it would cycle through again, leaving a message if someone didn’t answer the second time. As a side bar to this side bar, I would type in the phone numbers as given to me to schedule a delivery of a hot tub. The numbers were probably hand written, faxed a couple of times, then entered into the system. Very often, numbers were wrong or transposed. Anyway, some old guy called me and demanded that I remove his number because he didn’t order a hot tub. Then, he wouldn’t tell me his number to remove it, and demanded that I remove his number. “What’s your number?” “I’m not telling you. Just take it off your list.” Repeat five times, then he told me that he’d call his attorney. “Go ahead,” I said, “I’ll ask him your phone number, and in the meantime, you’ll keep getting calls.” Genious.

So anyway, we get these calls a couple of times a day. “I saw your number on my caller ID. Who are you and what do you want?”

“We didn’t call you. Is there a message from whoever did?”

“No, I just hit the redial button.”

So now I’m thinking that we should tell them that we wanted a pizza delivered, or a tow truck, but they didn’t answer. These calls are proof positive that Caller ID decreases brain power. I, on the other hand work something like this: “Didn’t leave a message? Wasn’t too important, now, was it.” Someone calls, doesn’t leave a message. Obviously not important. If it’s important, they’ll call back.

Maybe they’re getting called by AlGore who is calling but can only wait 10 seconds because he has a lot of calls to make. “Hi, this is AlGore. My son can do 100 miles per hour in a Prius, but it’s a Prius. It is the same amount of carbon as if your hummer were doing 347 MPH.”

In the mean time, BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

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TreeHugger reports a real shocker: Ethanol production is increasing the demand for corn. The pop corn industry needs to pay its growers more to keep them growing pop corn instead of the federally mandated ethanol. Since corn also feeds cattle, you have no doubt seen the prices of dairy products and beef rise. Add to that the increase fuel prices, and you have a redistribution of wealth. We’re not getting paid more, so the gasoline industry is getting more and more money.

It’s obviously an evil Hippie conspiracy to get Americans off fuel and meat. The bulk of Americans won’t be able to afford to drive, so they’ll have to take public transportation. The bulk of Americans won’t be able to eat meat, so the dangerous cattle, who do nothing but stamp the soil, create erosion and destroy the natural landscape, will dwindle down to a more managable existance.

Won’t this have the opposite effect? After all, look at private jets, sprawling estates, and limosines. They’re not owned or used by the bulk of Americans. Who owns them? The liberal elite.

There you have it, an evil Hippie Conspiracy to take away the most basic needs from most Americans: travel and food. In the mean time, BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

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ViralTags

June 8th, 2007 14 Comments

The updated viralink is the ViralTag. A brilliant idea in its simplicity, but flawed in its simplicity. Andy Coates discusses the hows and whys of from whence it came. At the time of this writing, our Technorati authority has already bounced up to 3. I have also changed the page layout, and have signed up with a new server, which (at the time of this writing) isn’t all setup and working.

I also took a look at the adsense TOS, and they just seem too restrictive for this host. At press time, this blog is on a GoDaddy server, and they run adsense ads. According to Adsense TOS, since they run adsense, I can’t. Without special permission. Also, text linked content ads are less obtrusive to viewers, and google restricts them if you have adsense. Eh, four years, and I still have less than $30. Six more years, and I might get a check. In the mean time, Google counts that money as “money in reserve” or some GAAP term, and that counts as money on hand, helping to thwart a takeover.

So here we go with the next step in making a couple of extra bucks with this blogging mechanism. Just enough to cover the costs of server and domain name, is that too much to ask? Right now, probably.

So looking at the rules of the ViralTag, I already have a problem. “Blow It Out Your Pie Hole” is six words, which is more than the maximum of three. “Blow Your Hole”? “Blow Your Pie?” Hmm. I think we’ll just go with “Pie Hole.” Sounds good enough. So, without further ado, we publish our version of the ViralTag.

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Instructions:

1.) Copy and paste the matrix of “ViralTags” below courtesy of Founders Cafe (to support Jimmy’s quest of launching his own Internet Startup with a shoestring budget, please consider subscribing to his Full RSS Feed to see his triumps and struggles in real time).

2.) Substitute the Host Tag and one of the “Viral Tags” in the matrix with your anchor text of choice with your blog’s URL. Please keep anchor text to a max of 3 words to keep the matrix size manageable.

3.) When you get a ping back from someone that has your link in one of their “Viral Tags”, practice good karma by copying his/her Host Tag’s anchor text (automatically the associated link will also be copied) and paste it over one of your “Viral Tags” below.

4.) Encourage and invite your readers to do the same and soon this can grow virally.


Host Tag: Earn money online

ViralTags | Business Chats | ViralTags | Tech at Hand | ViralTags | Internet Marketing Austria | Butterfly Feelings | | Technology Music Life | ViralTags | Manila Mom | ViralTags | ViralTags | Startup Entrepreneur Money | ViralTags | ViralTags | Revellian | ViralTags | Agloco Internet Marketing | ViralTags | Tech Gadgets Stocks | Woman God’s Masterpiece | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Gadis | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Social Media | Earn Money Online | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Entrepreneurship Internet Web | ViralTags | ahmadaffzan.com | ViralTags | start a blog | rasyid.net | Maurica | Tech Startups Web2.0 | Barrett Laurie | ViralTags | Plugins TV Blogging | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Really Funny Jokes | Huma B~ Post | ViralTags | Internet Marketing German | ViralTags | Maurica’s Perfume | ViralTags | ViralTags | Business Blog Web | ViralTags | Anitokid Chronikos | ViralTags | esofthub’s web finds| ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Political Social Media | ViralTags | Hoobin.com | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | The Broken Bow | ViralTags | ViralTags | Domain Development Blogs | ViralTags | ViralTags | Monetize Your Blog | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Barbershop Bass | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | Pie Hole | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags | ViralTags |

Important: Once I get a ping back from you (I promise to do the best I can), I will add your anchor text and the associated link you designate as “Host Tag” here, replacing one of the “ViralTags” from the matrix above. As more and more bloggers copy and paste this matrix, the more backlinks you will have with your anchor text. If everybody who copy and paste from your blog does the same, pretty soon this will spread and go viral. So, the sooner you participate, the more links with anchor text you will receive.

=============== Copy and Paste from Above this line =========

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