Corel. It’s not Curel

Posted by Pie Hole on September 22, 2009 in Pie Hole |
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Ah, WordPerfect for DOS. A delightful word processing application that featured its own markup language. For most tasks, the codes were turned off, and behaved as expected. Every once in a while, you would need to turn Codes On to see what exactly was going on, or to do some manual adjusting.

I remember typing up a short story in 8th grade English on an old Epson MX-80 dot matrix printer, in the days of “print text in one of these fonts or these stupid graphics.” If you wanted fancy shit, you had to code it for the printer in a 7-bit binary code (one bit for each pin). I was especially proud of my opus, not because the story was good; it sucked, and I blame the assignment. I was proud of it because it had some strike-through text. I created the strike-through text by appending a backspace; I remember Escape-H; and a dash to each character of the original word. It make proof-reading a real bitch. However, the secret codes were there.

Having the codes made it easy for wrapping text around an odd-shaped image, something HTML still can’t do. It made it easy to tweak some things to make the output look a little better.

Then came along and bought WordPerfect and turned it into a . I’m now using ’s Word.

When I first started using Linux, back in the days of a blazing fast 88 mHz 286 Gateway “computer,” I tried various installations of Slackware and its 36 floppies to download before the days of .iso downloads, various installations of Red Hat, and its 10 floppies to download, and eventually found Corel Linux. It was probably Spring 2000. I liked the way it looked and felt.

Then, Corel made Corel LinuxOS Second Edition, which turned into a flaming bag of shit. I’m now using Ubuntu.

Once upon a time, I used for my photo editing needs. Seriously, how many home users need the power of Photoshop? filled a need, and the price was right, too. It was powerful enough to make good pictures look bad, and bad pictures look good. Tutorials were filling the Internet at the speed of today’s splogs.

Then, Corel bought , and Paint Shop Pro turned into a flaming bag of shit. I now use GIMP.

Remember WinZip? It used to be a necessary piece of software when downloading shit at a blazing 33 kbps. Then, Microsoft added ZIP functionality to Windows, because The ZIP file archive format (PKZIP) was originally invented for MS-DOS in 1989 by Phil Katz and his company PKWare. Guess what else happened? That’s right, Corel bought WinZip in 2006 and now it’s a flaming bag of shit. I now use 7-zip.

Over the weekend, I was installing Windows on a newer computer. I reinstalled Mozilla and Thunderbird, notepad++, audacity, and all the good shit I was using.

Until I searched for Intervideo WinDVD Player. The last installations I had of that came on a disk with the last CD burner I purchased. I love Intervideo WinDVD Player. It plays DVD backups as easily as a DVD. couple an .iso file with the Microsoft Virtual CD-ROM Control Panel, and I could get a movie started on my screen before the actual DVD player would be through with the previews.

Guess what. Corel purchased Intervideo in 2006. I didn’t even download Corel’s version of it, because I know that it will have probably turned into a flaming bag of shit. I’ll probably start using VLC.

To paraphrase Lorre Wyatt Bob Dylan, How many times must I be disappointed by a company to stop using their shit? Apparently, in Corel’s case, four. It probably would have been fewer, but how often do you need to replace the entire operating system of your ?

In conclusion, there’s really only one thing to say. Hey Corel, BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE! Maybe some day, I’ll tell you how I really feel.

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