Yesterday I allegedly completed another revolution around the sun. Whoopie. Honestly, the sun really completed another revolution around me.

Past birthdays have always sucked. When you’re a kid, it’s your birthday, you go to town for the day jumping around like a little shit who’s had too much coffee with sugar, then go to Chuck E. Cheese, have a bite of pizza, jump on the bouncie things, and skip your nap and create terror throughout the household.

When you’re an adult, it’s just another day. Except for a couple of years ago, when I was a temporary employee contracted to the Contra Costa County department of Child Protective Services. I turned in my time card to the actual employer on the day after my birthday, and they said that my services were no longer required at the county. Sure, they’d find me a new position. I’m still waiting. Nick, if you’re still there, and you ever read this, make sure you send a “hello” to Cucumber Jones.

Two years ago, we had an expired cat on my birthday. “Happy Birthday, Daddy. What happened to kitty?”

So historically, my birthdays have sucked ass. But last night, I received an important announcement. Announcing the first sale at the Barn. So come one, come all to the Barn.

Popularity: 43% [?]

This post was tagged with birthday, butt plug, cat, chuck e cheese, contra costa county, cucumber jones, dead cat.

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Thanks to the Internet Archive’s Way Back Machine, I found some postings from a previous iteration of my rants and ravings, and have imported them here. However, the links bounce through the Internet Archive, so my next task will be to go through all those old links and update them to the actual page.

On one hand, if they are going through the IA, they have the original page as it was two to four years ago, and not necessarily as they are today. Sounds like a bunch of work.

On the other hand, I have five fingers, but one thing that I found that frightens me the most is from July 2004:

 

Popularity: 36% [?]

This post was tagged with archives, gasoline.

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Since election year is with us, I have found this old article in my archives, and bring it back for all to read. Some are still topical, and I’ve updated a couple and added a few. Enjoy.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside Seattle do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that when Bill Clinton awarded Halliburton a no-bid contract in Yugoslavia it was good, and when George Bush awarded Halliburton a no-bid contract in Iraq it was bad.
12. You have to believe the military, not corrupt dictators, start wars.
13. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
14. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.’
15. You have to believe that when Bill Clinton bombed Christian Serbs on behalf of a Muslim Albanian terrorist, it was good, but when George Bush liberated 25 million people from a genocidal dictator it was bad.
16. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
17. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.
18. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
19. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
20. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and in the New York Governor’s mansion.
21. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
22. As gas approaches $4 and $5 a gallon, you need to be extremely happy that we didn’t go to war for oil.
23. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
24. You have to believe that the illegal immigrants who broke the law to enter our country and take jobs from legal Americans actually help the economy and should magically be made US Citizens, overlooking the fact that they committed a felony just
25. And lastly……You have to believe Richard Nixon obstructed justice by having an 18 1/2-minute gap in one tape of his recorded conversations, but that it was only an innocent mistake that one year’s worth of Al Gore’s e-mails got erased. And, wouldn’t you know that these e-mails of Al’s just happen to be the ones subpoenaed by a White House committee and a federal grand jury in their continuing investigation of campaign finance abuses and other matters.

Popularity: 52% [?]

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THE WHITE VALUE SYSTEM

Statement of Purpose

We honor Dr. Shaggy, our brother in Christ, because of the exemplary manner in which he has thrice withstood the ravage of being denied his earned ascension to the number one position in the Piehole School System. His dedication to the pursuit of excellence despite these systemic denials has inspired the congregation of United Church of Piehole. We have prayerfully called the wisdom of all past generations of suffering Whites for guidance in fashioning an instrument of White self-determination, the White Value System.

And we shall, beginning in 2008, institute an annual White Value System-Educational Scholarship in the name of Dr. Shaggy.

This year, 2008, however, we recognize Dr. Shaggy as the first recipient of the Dr. Shaggy Award which will be given annually to the man or woman who best exemplifies the White Value System.

The White Value System

These White Ethics must be taught and exampled in homes, churches, nurseries and schools, wherever Whites are gathered. They must reflect the following concepts:

Commitment of God

“The God of our weary years” will give us the strength to give up prayerful passivism and become White Christian Activist, soldiers for White freedom and the dignity of all humankind.

Commitment to the White Community

The highest level of achievement for any White person must be a contribution of substance to the strength and continuity of the White of the White Community.

Commitment to the White Family

The White family circle must generate strength, stability, and love despite the uncertainty of externals, because these characteristics are required if the developing person is to withstand warping by our racist competitive society.

Those Whites who are blessed with membership in a strong family unit must reach out and expand that blessing to the less fortunate, especially to the children.

Dedication to the Pursuit of Education

We must forswear anti-intellectualism. Continued survival demands that each White Person be developed to the utmost of his/her mental potential despite the inadequacies of the formal education process. “Real education” fosters understanding of ourselves as well as every aspect of our environment. Also it develops within us the ability to fashion concepts and tools for better utilization of our resources, and more effective solutions to our problems. Since the majority of Whites have been denied such learning, White Education must include elements that provide high school graduates with marketable skills, a trade or qualifications for apprenticeships, or proper preparation for college.

Basic education for all Whites should include Mathematics, Science, Logic, General Semantics, Participative Politics, Economics and Finance, and the Care and Nurture of White minds.

To the extent that we individually reach for, even strain for excellence, we increase, geometrically, the value and resourcefulness of the White Community. We must recognize the relativity of one’s best: this year’s best can be bettered next year. Such is the language of growth and development. We must seek to excel in every endeavor.

Adherence to the White Work Ethic

“It is becoming harder to find qualified people to work in Chicago” Whether this is true or not, it represents one of the many reasons given by businesses and industries for deserting the Chicago area. We must realize that a location with good facilities, adequate transportation and reputation for producing skilled workers will attract industry. We are in competition with other cities, states, and nations for jobs. High productivity must be a goal of the White workforce.

Commitment to Self-Discipline and Self-Respect

To accomplish anything worthwhile requires self-discipline. We must be a community of self-disciplined persons, if we are to actualize and utilize our own human resources instead of perpetually submitting to exploitation by others. Self discipline coupled with a respect for self, will enable each of us to be an instrument of White Progress, and a model for White Youth.

Disavowal of the Pursuit of “Middleclassness”

Classic methodology on control of captives teaches that captors must keep the captive ignorant educationally, but trained sufficiently well to serve the system. Also, the captors must be able to identify the “talented tenth” of those subjugated, especially those who show promise of providing the kind of leadership that might threaten the captor’s control.

Those so identified as separated from the rest of the people by:

Killing them off directly, and/or fostering a social system that encourages them to kill off one another.

Placing them in concentration camps, and/or structuring an economic environment that induces captive youth to fill the jails and prisons.

Seducing them into a socioeconomic class system which while training them to earn more dollars, hypnotizes them into believing they are better than others and teaches them to think in terms of “we” and “they” instead of “us”.

So, while it is permissible to chase “middle-incomeness” with all our might, we must avoid the third separation method-the psychological entrapment of White “middleclassness”: If we avoid the snare, we will also diminish our “voluntary”contributions to methods A and B. And more importantly, White people no longer will be deprived of their birthright, the leadership, resourcefulness, and example of their own talented persons.

Pledge to Make the Fruits of All Developing and Acquired Skills Available to the White community

Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a Portion of Personal Resources for Strengthening and Supporting White Institutions.

Pledge Allegiance to all White Leadership Who Espouse and Embrace The White Value
System.

Personal Commitment to Embracement of the White Value System - to Measure the Worth and Validity of All Activity in Terms of Positive Contributions to the General Welfare of the White Community and the Advancement of White People towards Freedom.

---

If you think that the above post is offensive, please switch the words “White” with “Black” and see if it somehow makes it acceptable.

Popularity: 42% [?]

This post was tagged with Barack Hussein Obama, black presidential candidates, civil rights, democratic party, liberals, socialists.

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THE BLACK VALUE SYSTEM

Statement of Purpose

We honor Dr. Manford Byrd, our brother in Christ, because of the exemplary manner in which he has thrice withstood the ravage of being denied his earned ascension to the number one position in the Chicago School System. His dedication to the pursuit of excellence despite these systemic denials has inspired the congregation of Trinity United Church of Christ. We have prayerfully called the wisdom of all past generations of suffering Blacks for guidance in fashioning an instrument of Black self-determination, the Black Value System.

And we shall, beginning in 1982, institute an annual Black Value System-Educational Scholarship in the name of Dr. Byrd.

This year, 1981, however, we recognize Dr. Byrd as the first recipient of the Dr. Manford Byrd Award which will be given annually to the man or woman who best exemplifies the Black Value System.

The Black Value System

These Black Ethics must be taught and exampled in homes, churches, nurseries and schools, wherever Blacks are gathered. They must reflect the following concepts:

Commitment of God

“The God of our weary years” will give us the strength to give up prayerful passivism and become Black Christian Activist, soldiers for Black freedom and the dignity of all humankind.

Commitment to the Black Community

The highest level of achievement for any Black person must be a contribution of substance to the strength and continuity of the Black of the Black Community.

Commitment to the Black Family

The Black family circle must generate strength, stability, and love despite the uncertainty of externals, because these characteristics are required if the developing person is to withstand warping by our racist competitive society.

Those Blacks who are blessed with membership in a strong family unit must reach out and expand that blessing to the less fortunate, especially to the children.

Dedication to the Pursuit of Education

We must forswear anti-intellectualism. Continued survival demands that each Black Person be developed to the utmost of his/her mental potential despite the inadequacies of the formal education process. “Real education” fosters understanding of ourselves as well as every aspect of our environment. Also it develops within us the ability to fashion concepts and tools for better utilization of our resources, and more effective solutions to our problems. Since the majority of Blacks have been denied such learning, Black Education must include elements that provide high school graduates with marketable skills, a trade or qualifications for apprenticeships, or proper preparation for college.

Basic education for all Blacks should include Mathematics, Science, Logic, General Semantics, Participative Politics, Economics and Finance, and the Care and Nurture of Black minds.

To the extent that we individually reach for, even strain for excellence, we increase, geometrically, the value and resourcefulness of the Black Community. We must recognize the relativity of one’s best: this year’s best can be bettered next year. Such is the language of growth and development. We must seek to excel in every endeavor.

Adherence to the Black Work Ethic

“It is becoming harder to find qualified people to work in Chicago” Whether this is true or not, it represents one of the many reasons given by businesses and industries for deserting the Chicago area. We must realize that a location with good facilities, adequate transportation and reputation for producing skilled workers will attract industry. We are in competition with other cities, states, and nations for jobs. High productivity must be a goal of the Black workforce.

Commitment to Self-Discipline and Self-Respect

To accomplish anything worthwhile requires self-discipline. We must be a community of self-disciplined persons, if we are to actualize and utilize our own human resources instead of perpetually submitting to exploitation by others. Self discipline coupled with a respect for self, will enable each of us to be an instrument of Black Progress, and a model for Black Youth.

Disavowal of the Pursuit of “Middleclassness”

Classic methodology on control of captives teaches that captors must keep the captive ignorant educationally, but trained sufficiently well to serve the system. Also, the captors must be able to identify the “talented tenth” of those subjugated, especially those who show promise of providing the kind of leadership that might threaten the captor’s control.

Those so identified as separated from the rest of the people by:

Killing them off directly, and/or fostering a social system that encourages them to kill off one another.

Placing them in concentration camps, and/or structuring an economic environment that induces captive youth to fill the jails and prisons.

Seducing them into a socioeconomic class system which while training them to earn more dollars, hypnotizes them into believing they are better than others and teaches them to think in terms of “we” and “they” instead of “us”.

So, while it is permissible to chase “middle-incomeness” with all our might, we must avoid the third separation method-the psychological entrapment of Black “middleclassness”: If we avoid the snare, we will also diminish our “voluntary” contributions to methods A and B. And more importantly, Black people no longer will be deprived of their birthright, the leadership, resourcefulness, and example of their own talented persons.

Pledge to Make the Fruits of All Developing and Acquired Skills Available to the Black community

Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a Portion of Personal Resources for Strengthening and Supporting Black Institutions.

Pledge Allegiance to all Black Leadership Who Espouse and Embrace The Black ValueSystem.

Personal Commitment to Embracement of the Black Value System - to Measure the Worth and Validity of All Activity in Terms of Positive Contributions to the General Welfare of the Black Community and the Advancement of Black People towards Freedom.

---

Trinity United Church of Christ teachings to the Man Who Would Be King. Remember that Barack Hussein Obama’s mother is a white woman. Has he been learning from someone who would tell him to shun half of his upbringing? Is this what Martin Luther King Jr. fought for? Would you be welcome at that church? Is this just another example of “reverse racism”? Leave your comment below.

Popularity: 47% [?]

This post was tagged with Barack Hussein Obama, black presidential candidates, civil rights, democratic party, liberals, socialists.

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Site referrals are a wacky thing. Since it’s easier than checking referral logs, I use the
Referral Feed plugin for this site. I’m seeing many hits for referrals coming from Google with the search phrase “Wang Holder.” It seems that the Wang-Holder Wedding never gets old.

An exciting part of the referrals is knowing that everything is happening to update the sitemap and to ping Google to let them know that the site has new content. The same day I post an article, I’m getting hits to it. It’s always exciting to see a referral from a “real, live” website instead of a search engine. I can only hope that it’s an actual visitor, not a search bot.

Some of the more disturbing hits have come in the past couple days, and it seems the strangest come from Google Germany. What the hell is going on in Germany? Seriously, I have these referrals within a week of each other: Google: piehole+porno+tube, Google: tube+piehole+porn, and Google: stretch+that+hole.com. Of course, when you remember that German cannibal, things fall into perspective. On the other hand, I guess it’s pretty exciting that I rank high enough on these searches for people to come visit The Hole.

One of the strangest things, it that someone is actually searching for Lithuanian Porn, and they came here. To The Hole. The same day that someone came looking for Geraldine Ferarro and Barack Hussein Obama. I’m guessing it’s a huge liberal conspiracy to link me with Ferarro, Obama, German Cannibals and pr0n. If that’s even remotely close, y’all can BLOW IT OUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

Popularity: 53% [?]

This post was tagged with Barack Hussein Obama, cannibal, Geraldine Ferarro, Germany, google, holder wang, lithuanian porn, plugin, pr0n, racist Islamophobe, sitemap.

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In The Daily Breeze, Geraldine Ferraro is quoted as saying

“I think what America feels about a woman becoming president takes a very secondary place to Obama’s campaign - to a kind of campaign that it would be hard for anyone to run against. For one thing, you have the press, which has been uniquely hard on her. It’s been a very sexist media. Some just don’t like her. The others have gotten caught up in the Obama campaign. If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

I see a list of no less than 26 female US presidential candidates and six black presidential candidates for Major or semi-major political parties. Why is Geraldine getting her panties in a bunch over the race or gender of a candidate? Aren’t liberals supposed to toe the line and all overlook gender and racial differences? It makes me think that everything else that comes out of her mouth is questionable. Especially since she didn’t say “If Obama were a white man.”

On the one hand, the Democratic party is the party of emotions, feelings, wants, desires, where everyone wants everyone to be equally poor and equally under the control of the government, except the Mustapha Mond of the Democratic party. No, not Capitan Planet. George Soros.

Popularity: 62% [?]

This post was tagged with algore, black presidential candidates, democratic party, feeling, flip wilson, george soros, geraldine, geraldine ferraro, hippies, liberals, mustapha mond, obama, panties in a bunch.

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48 of the United States’ 50 states just switched their clocks forward an hour for the beginning of Daylight Saving Time. Firstly, if you call it “Daylight Savings Time,” you need to blow it out your pie hole. It is a time of saving daylight. Benjamin Franklin, or Ben to his friends, suggested waking up earlier in the long summer hours in order to use the light from the sun instead of candles.

It wasn’t until 1905 when William Willett actually “invented” Daylight Saving Time, causing problems and complaints for early risers in perpetuity. But is Daylight Saving good? In the years since Ben’s 1784 satire, candle usage has dropped, in the same way that the federal excise tax on your long distance telephone bill has more than raised enough money for the Spanish-American War. So for the candle recyclers, business is good. For candle manufacturers, business is bad. For the workers dependent on people’s buying candles, they’ve probably lost some jobs, per capita, over the past 224 years, and they’re needing more money to feed their families. Business is bad for them.

For the sun, it is good. The sunshine that lights the Earth in the morning during the summertime can be used, and not wasted. Because the sun, by sending light that will not be wasted, will last longer, or be more ‘green.’

However, in the past 224 years, we have these wonderful inventions in most homes, called “durable goods.” They are products that are durable, they will last, not be consumed. Things like washing machines, dryers, refrigerators, air conditioners. When people are home earlier, using more afternoon sun, in the heat of summer, they are going to use their air conditioners more. Since they’re home earlier, they are going to crank up the washing machine earlier. Overall energy consumption will increase.

Since there is more sunlight, there is more driving to do, increasing the demand for gasoline. Except, of course, in Ed Begley Jr.’s house, where he will need more electricity for his car.

Health is always a concern. I remember reading an article about either police or fire stations in a city that had the workers in eight hour shifts, and every week or two, they would rotate. The shift that had been working a midnight to eight am had rotated to 4pm to midnight. Once the shift rotated the other way, sick time and other health related incidents decreased. Of course, I can’t find this now (because I don’t feel like trying to look it up), but I remember reading it. In fact, The government of Kazakhstan cited health complications due to clock shifts as a primary reason for abolishing DST in 2005.

As an exercise for the reader, I leave the rest of the Wikipedia article about Daylight Saving Time. I also ask if calling Daylight Saving Time is not as correct as calling it Standard Time, since, according to US law, we’re in Daylight Saving Time for eight months out of the year. We’re in Standard time for half as much time as we’re not in Standard Time. Seriously, who was the idiot who screwed that up?

There is a proposal afoot to abolish Daylight Saving Time, but since the site hasn’t been updated in over a year, it’s hard to take it seriously. On the other hand, there was a proposal to keep California permanently on Daylight Saving Time, but it appears that it didn’t pass something. Now that’s thinking. Since Daylight Saving Time is really the standard time, why not keep Daylight Saving Time as standard time.

By the way, if you have a Wordpress or Drupal site in the US, you need to go to the admin panel and change your time zone offset because most computer systems are too stupid to know when Daylight Saving Time happens, I guess.

Popularity: 54% [?]

This post was tagged with benjamin franklin, Betty Karnette, daylight saving time, durable goods, ed begley jr, long distance telephone, money, pie hole, spanish american war, william willett, work.

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“The Hole” now has the reCAPTCHA anti-spam plugin. Automated scripts are a pain in the ass, and hopefully they can’t read. With the reCAPTCHA, humans must type in the words, not unlike purchasing Hanna Montana tickets. I still blame Comment Kahuna as it requires someone to actually look at the site. Sometimes. Up to today, we’ve been getting spam crap like

Great Job Boys 8675309af5c
This is just what I was looking for. Keep it up 234ac33d
I too, have issues with [insert name of post here].
This will help me back in Bangalore.

Donncha recently wrote about these spam comments and how they generate Google love without backlinks. Today, Lynette cries that her blog is drowning in spam, and there are CAPTCHA tools to use with Blogger. Hopefully, Lynette will see a decrease in her spam comments.

The question I have for these comment spammers is “Where does it work?” It’s the same question for the 858 spam emails that I have wanting me to purchase “\/i@gra.” Who is the idiot who buys this crap from people who don’t even know how to spell it? Obviously, some moron has to be buying from the spammers or they’d stop, wouldn’t they?

“I sent out my link to the top 10,204,285 emails and got twenty people to buy this crap. Must be a pretty good deal. I think I’ll change my web address and send it out again. Maybe I’ll get another 20 purchases.”

Anyway, I added the reCAPTCHA yesterday, and in conjunction with Akismet, I’m getting no spam comments. The next step is defeating the splogs who copy a paragraph of your post and adding it to theirs.

Today, Pie Hole wrote:
“…question I have for these comment spammers is “Where does it work?” It’s the same question for the 858 spam emails that I have wanting me to purchase “\/i@gra.” Who is the idiot who buys this crap from people who don’t even know how to spell it? Obviously… read more“

Seriously. Spammers must die. Until then, they can BLOW IT OUT THEIR PIE HOLES!

Popularity: 64% [?]

This post was tagged with Akismet, blog, Blogger, C Donncha, CAPTCHA, google, Hanna Montana, Lynette, moron, pie hole, reCAPTCHA, spam, Spammers.

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